FetePerfection : The Wacky Wedding Planner

From the Lazy Bride Blog in Costa Rica

Surprise! It's a Wedding! Posted: 16 Dec 2008 02:11 PM CST Here is the ultimate for the Lazy Bride - a wedding where you just show up. No planning, no invites, nada - not even an idea that you're getting married. Instead of a surprise birthday party, it's a surprise wedding.  And if you think I'm making this one up, guess again as we just had a surprise wedding last week. One of our clients at Weddings Costa Rica is a German luxury cruise line and we coordinate weddings in Costa Rica for their passengers. We had a lovely couple last week marry on the Caribbean coast, amidst the jungle with a stunning ocean view.  What made it truly memorable was the fact the groom set everything up without the bride's knowledge. He bought the rings (gorgeous), the dress (stunning), shoes, arranged for the decor...and the gal didn't have a clue. They weren't even engaged when they started their cruise! Once they were anchors away, he proposed and then announced that he'd arranged to have the wedding when they hit port in Costa Rica. Thankfully, she said yes to everything and was very excited by her surprise wedding. It was a good day for all. While I don't believe it's a new trend, this is the second groom I've worked with who has had this 'romantic' notion in his head (thankfully, he reconsidered as his bride and her mom were less than impressed with his plans). I'm not sure what the attraction is of springing a wedding on their beloved as I cannot imagine a lot of brides would be flipping cartwheels at the thought. In short, I don't think it's a great idea. No matter how much a girl may say she's not all caught up in the notion of a wedding, rare is she who would not want to be somewhat involved in her big day. A surprise engagement is one thing but a wedding - whoa, that's dangerous territory buddy. The groom has to be rock-solid in his belief that the bride will be a) happy to marry him right there and then and b) thrilled with his choice of decor, flowers, dress, cake, photographer, musicians...you know, all the gazillion things that even a simple elopement involves.  No offense, guys, but most women get hives at the thought of letting you pick out a pair of shoes for us much less plan and coordinate a wedding. The saying that everyone loves surprises doesn't apply here.  My advice? Plan a surprise dinner or a surprise honeymoon even but let your bride decide with you, together, when and where the wedding will be. A good marriage does need excitement and little surprises along the way but it also needs you working together as a couple to make decisions about both the big and little things in your life.

So You Want to be a Wedding Planner?

 This movie single-handedly  glamorized the Wedding Planning Industry and with the advent of so-called Reality TV Shows like Whose Wedding Is It Anyway and Platinum Weddings, I receive emails and phone calls daily asking how to break into this business.  Actually most inquiries are not asking my advice for getting into the business, they want to work with me at Fete Perfection, my wedding and event planning business, because they have a passion for weddings or just love planning family and friends events or, and this is my favorite, they had so much fun planning their own wedding and now have become an expert.

Sorry to say this people but passion, love and fun are not the types of qualifications needed to get into this business.  You need so much more so here is my best advice in as succinct a format as I can outline:

• Get a job and gain experience in the operations end of events - be a banquet server and learn all there is to learn about last minute and unexpected changes to meals, guest counts, room sets, deliveries, and rowdy guests.
• Work your way up the food chain at that hotel, event center or country club - become a banquet captain or banquet manager so you now not only know how to be flexible and crisis manage, but you schedule staff, inventory stuff, oversee set-up and tear-down, attend Banquet Event Order meetings and hand-hold everyone from guests, hosts, brides and grooms, their families and even your own staff.
• Sell events - learn an entirely new aspect of the job - smiling and nodding and agreeing you will do everything in your power to squeeze 400 guests into an event space that holds 250.  If you have banquet experience, you will already know that this is an impossibility and you will NEVER sell your space for 400.  You, as your former self the banquet server, knows why this is bad on so many levels. 
• Combine the hands-on experience with education.  There are many colleges offering degrees in Hotel and Hospitality Management but this alone is not enough - see above three recommendations in addition but not alone.  There are also specific courses that are directed at wedding or event planning.  I haven't taken them so I can't condone or condemn them - just be wary because many cost several hundred to thousands of dollars.
• Join an association and network.  ABC which is the Association of Bridal Consultants is the oldest bridal association in the world  and provides continuing education, support and networking opportunity through out the year.  In addition, their annual conference held in November provides fabulous up-to-date education and seminars dedicated to the Professional Bridal Consultant, Master Bridal Consultant as well as Novice members.  International Special Events Society is another great association to consider.
• Membership is only as good as participation and attendance, so go to those meetings and volunteer to put together a meeting or event and get to know the trend setters.
• Volunteer at school, church or a non-profit to organize fundraisers, social or networking events.  Find out if you really are cut out for the event planning world.  Do you like being on your feet 16 hours or more some days?  Can you deal with the stress of the unexpected like a DJ who is a no show or a cake that fell?  What about a tornado right in the middle of the outdoor wedding...well there's absolutely nothing you can do about that, however you can remain calm and escort guests to the nearest shelter.  Yep, happened twice this summer at two outdoor weddings. 
• Read, read, read as much as you can.  There are tons of books and magazines with lots of great advice.

So, if you're not discouraged yet, get a job, get the experience and come back to me.  I may just be interested in talking to you.

 

Smart Ideas for Wedding Planning = Substantial Savings

I was asked to write an article about how couples can save money while planning their wedding.  This advice applies to couples with substantial budgets as well as those with limited budgets.  Good advice is universal, so here are my favorite tips:

• Cutting the guest list is going to provide the most substantial savings – for example, if you haven’t seen someone, yes even relatives, in over a year and etiquette is clear on this, no need to extend the invitation.  Many times those relatives and acquaintances are relieved not to have to make the decision to attend.  At a minimum, couples will save $100 per person which includes cost of invitations, décor, floral, food and beverage and entertainment.  As I mentioned that's just the minimum, many times depending on the design and location of the wedding savings can amount to $500 per person or more so choose your guest list wisely. 

• Hiring a professional wedding consultant will be the best money saved – they know the very best professionals for the budget and will negotiate discounts or complimentary upgrades.  These same deals cannot be obtained by couples and many times the savings covers the cost of the consultant.  Consultants will also save the couples hundreds of hours of time looking and interviewing wedding professionals. 

• Regarding favors, my recommendation is save yourself money by not providing them…guests really do not care about taking home a favor and in most cases they are thrown away at the end of the night.  Rather than a favor consider donating the dollars you would spend to a charitable organization near and dear to your heart.

• Lighting is a dramatic and cost-effective way to transform the look of your wedding – consider hiring a lighting expert to up light walls in dramatic colors or points of interest such as windows or columns or down light areas of the room or shine the couples initials or logo on the dance floor.  Great lighting is simple and dramatic and will save hundreds of dollars over dramatic centerpieces or linens.

• Bridal gowns can be purchased at dramatic discounts at consignment boutiques or look for samples that have been on the rack for several months.  Do not be afraid to ask to see samples that have been in inventory for a long time and if you find one you like, ask for their best price.  I had a bride who purchased her gown on eBay and it was perfect for her.

• To save substantial dollars on flowers, re-use ceremony flowers at the reception. One or two large ceremony displays can be moved to the reception and placed in significant locations such as near the head table or the dance floor.   Consider a variety of centerpieces such as florals for 1/3 of the tables, dramatic candles for 1/3 and a smaller combination of flowers and candles for the remaining tables.  Large dramatic centerpieces can cost $500 or more so imagine having 20 tables…the cost exceeds $10,000 however if the remaining tables each cost $150 the total is $5450, Guests will walk into the reception and focus on the large dramatic look first.  There should be continuity between the two or three centerpiece designs so it doesn’t look haphazard.  At the end of the night, give the flowers to guests or donate to hospitals or nursing homes so they can continue to be enjoyed rather than discarded.

• Use Centerpiece cakes for an environmentally friendly approach rather than reception flowers by providing four of five different flavored cakes on every table.  There is no waste at the end of the night and guests love to get up and sample other flavors.  Centerpiece cakes range from $35 to $100 each which provides huge savings over a one-time-use floral display.

• For entertainment save money by hiring local cover bands.  Depending on your area, many cover bands can be hired for four hours at the same prices as a DJ.  Speaking of DJ's, I do not recommend trying to save money by using your iPod - after spending thousands of dollars to make your day perfect, why would you rely on one little device to keep your party rocking into the midnight hour?  What if something goes wrong...don't tempt Murphy's Law.

• Food saving ideas include providing one main entrée to your guests rather than offering multiple choices – caterers and venues charge extra per person to manage the extra labor involved.  Ask for childrens menus and pricing because this can save 50% or more of the adult menu pricing.  Offer two or three different hors d'oeuvres during cocktail hour rather than five or seven.  Guests will eat what they are offered and the more that is offered the more they fill up.  Offer a plated meal rather than buffet.  These days buffets costs more per person because the caterer or venue does not want to run out of food and because they have no way to gauge guest consumption so they overstock.
  

• Save on beverages by hosting kegs of beer rather than individual bottled beer – most times guests are happy with whatever is hosted and a keg of beer will provide approximately 163 glasses for about $350.  163 bottles of beer will cost approximately $815.  Many venues offer package pricing for beverages, however I do not feel this is a savings to couples.  For example, 200 guests can be charged a four hour package price of $30 per person for a total of $6000.  However statistically 1/3 of the guests leave right after dinner, so unfortunately the couple has paid for two to three hours for guests who have gone home.  At least 10% of guests do not drink alcoholic beverages however all guests are charged the package price regardless of their beverage preference.  Some venues even charge the package price to minors. 
  

• For invitations, consider DIY – do it yourself is fairly simple with all the design programs available and if you are not necessarily creative go to a local paper supplier or stationery store for ideas and see if they offer complimentary classes.  If DIY isn't your thing, there are many great websites for stock stationery which can be customized with design and color choices for less than $1 each.

Thankfully, people continue to get married and fortunately that is the one constant in this very scary, unpredictable economy we're faced with so why not protect what assets we do have.

I have many other tips for saving time and money but a girl can't give away all her secrets.  Check our website Fete Perfection for affordable wedding planning packages and start saving.

 

Advice from the "Lazy Bride's Guide"

The business of weddings is serious business with hundreds of millions spent annually for what is one day in a lifetime - while I take my business seriously, I also enjoy following dozens of blogs from brides, planners and those who don't take themselves too seriously.

Here's a recent post from the Lazy Bride's Guide which actually covers a great topic near and dear to my heart - the business of wedding consultants and why to hire one.  Great advice!  Thanks for this post Lazy Bride.

Lazy 'n Frugal Guide - Hiring a Wedding Coordinator

Although hiring a wedding coordinator may not seem frugal (but a definite must for the truly lazy bride), the reality is that having an experienced wedding professional on your team can not only severely cut back on the number of hours you need to invest in planning (and time is money, no?) but also can save you cold hard cash.

But aren't wedding coordinators expensive, what with the J Lo headsets and all, you may ask? In a word, no (and Hollywood movies tend to grossly stereotype). While you do have their fees to consider, consultants will be able to find ways to save you money on your overall budget, usually enough to cover their costs and then some. They are familiar with the different vendors in your area and know the good, the great and the ugly through years of experience. You as a bride alone, however, are walking into the planning forest without a compass, much less a guide. Maybe you have some recommendations from friends but you're likely experiencing an overwhelming sense of 'where do I even begin'? How do you know for sure that you are going to get the product/service you want, on time, on budget and that Vendor X is your best option? You don't. You're taking a risk, a leap of faith.

Enter the wedding coordinator. Weddings are their lives, literally. It's what they do all day, week in, week out. They know which cake maker has the best flavors, the florist who uses only the freshest flowers, the rental shop with the linens that are always in impeccable shape. And they also know the photographer who is more interested in hooking up with the cute bridesmaids than shooting the reception, the caterer who shows up late and the musicians who are always slightly out of tune. They will work with the best and steer you away from the rest.

A coordinator knows that the most expensive vendor is not necessarily the best and this alone can save you gobs of money. They also know different tricks of the trade, how to get the best bang for your buck, which venue offers the best setting for your wedding vision and how to make your decor dollar stretch without the result looking like you were cutting costs. Because they work with vendors on a regular basis, they are sometimes able to get discounts not available to the individual bride and then pass them along to their clients. When you hire a wedding consultant, you are hiring an advocate who will work and negotiate on your behalf.

Besides the dollar and cents (or should that be sense) a wedding coordinator makes to your budget's bottomline, the piece of mind that you have a professional looking out for your best interests while you navigate planning (what is likely) the largest, most expensive and most anticipated party in your life, is priceless. 

My advice to the lazy 'n frugal bride is to speak with a couple of wedding coordinators (check out the Association of Bridal Consultants for members in your area). Most will offer a free one-hour consultation. See what they can do for you and how they can help you realize your wedding vision. It's likely more affordable than you may have thought!

Woo Hoo...Colin Cowie

I had the thrill of attending a wedding luncheon hosted by Colin Cowie this week at the ABC Conference in Newport Beach, CA and what a thrill it was.  We were mesmerized by his presentation and down-to-earth approachability.  He has a great sense of humor and seems to keep life in general in perspective. 

He wowed all 300 of us with photos of some of his more recent weddings.  The design elements and over-the-top-attention-to-detail was mind-boggling but inspiring at the same time.  While most of us do not have budgets in excess of ten million dollars we can see the bigger picture a la Colin Cowie.  He also inspired me to explore a new opportunity that perfectly ties in with I Do Vow To.

But for now, I have extensive research to conduct and make contact with the people who can help me make this happen.

Here's some photos from the luncheon and one of Colin - what a cutie.