FetePerfection : The Wacky Wedding Planner

From the Lazy Bride Blog in Costa Rica

Surprise! It's a Wedding! Posted: 16 Dec 2008 02:11 PM CST Here is the ultimate for the Lazy Bride - a wedding where you just show up. No planning, no invites, nada - not even an idea that you're getting married. Instead of a surprise birthday party, it's a surprise wedding.  And if you think I'm making this one up, guess again as we just had a surprise wedding last week. One of our clients at Weddings Costa Rica is a German luxury cruise line and we coordinate weddings in Costa Rica for their passengers. We had a lovely couple last week marry on the Caribbean coast, amidst the jungle with a stunning ocean view.  What made it truly memorable was the fact the groom set everything up without the bride's knowledge. He bought the rings (gorgeous), the dress (stunning), shoes, arranged for the decor...and the gal didn't have a clue. They weren't even engaged when they started their cruise! Once they were anchors away, he proposed and then announced that he'd arranged to have the wedding when they hit port in Costa Rica. Thankfully, she said yes to everything and was very excited by her surprise wedding. It was a good day for all. While I don't believe it's a new trend, this is the second groom I've worked with who has had this 'romantic' notion in his head (thankfully, he reconsidered as his bride and her mom were less than impressed with his plans). I'm not sure what the attraction is of springing a wedding on their beloved as I cannot imagine a lot of brides would be flipping cartwheels at the thought. In short, I don't think it's a great idea. No matter how much a girl may say she's not all caught up in the notion of a wedding, rare is she who would not want to be somewhat involved in her big day. A surprise engagement is one thing but a wedding - whoa, that's dangerous territory buddy. The groom has to be rock-solid in his belief that the bride will be a) happy to marry him right there and then and b) thrilled with his choice of decor, flowers, dress, cake, photographer, musicians...you know, all the gazillion things that even a simple elopement involves.  No offense, guys, but most women get hives at the thought of letting you pick out a pair of shoes for us much less plan and coordinate a wedding. The saying that everyone loves surprises doesn't apply here.  My advice? Plan a surprise dinner or a surprise honeymoon even but let your bride decide with you, together, when and where the wedding will be. A good marriage does need excitement and little surprises along the way but it also needs you working together as a couple to make decisions about both the big and little things in your life.

So You Want to be a Wedding Planner?

 This movie single-handedly  glamorized the Wedding Planning Industry and with the advent of so-called Reality TV Shows like Whose Wedding Is It Anyway and Platinum Weddings, I receive emails and phone calls daily asking how to break into this business.  Actually most inquiries are not asking my advice for getting into the business, they want to work with me at Fete Perfection, my wedding and event planning business, because they have a passion for weddings or just love planning family and friends events or, and this is my favorite, they had so much fun planning their own wedding and now have become an expert.

Sorry to say this people but passion, love and fun are not the types of qualifications needed to get into this business.  You need so much more so here is my best advice in as succinct a format as I can outline:

• Get a job and gain experience in the operations end of events - be a banquet server and learn all there is to learn about last minute and unexpected changes to meals, guest counts, room sets, deliveries, and rowdy guests.
• Work your way up the food chain at that hotel, event center or country club - become a banquet captain or banquet manager so you now not only know how to be flexible and crisis manage, but you schedule staff, inventory stuff, oversee set-up and tear-down, attend Banquet Event Order meetings and hand-hold everyone from guests, hosts, brides and grooms, their families and even your own staff.
• Sell events - learn an entirely new aspect of the job - smiling and nodding and agreeing you will do everything in your power to squeeze 400 guests into an event space that holds 250.  If you have banquet experience, you will already know that this is an impossibility and you will NEVER sell your space for 400.  You, as your former self the banquet server, knows why this is bad on so many levels. 
• Combine the hands-on experience with education.  There are many colleges offering degrees in Hotel and Hospitality Management but this alone is not enough - see above three recommendations in addition but not alone.  There are also specific courses that are directed at wedding or event planning.  I haven't taken them so I can't condone or condemn them - just be wary because many cost several hundred to thousands of dollars.
• Join an association and network.  ABC which is the Association of Bridal Consultants is the oldest bridal association in the world  and provides continuing education, support and networking opportunity through out the year.  In addition, their annual conference held in November provides fabulous up-to-date education and seminars dedicated to the Professional Bridal Consultant, Master Bridal Consultant as well as Novice members.  International Special Events Society is another great association to consider.
• Membership is only as good as participation and attendance, so go to those meetings and volunteer to put together a meeting or event and get to know the trend setters.
• Volunteer at school, church or a non-profit to organize fundraisers, social or networking events.  Find out if you really are cut out for the event planning world.  Do you like being on your feet 16 hours or more some days?  Can you deal with the stress of the unexpected like a DJ who is a no show or a cake that fell?  What about a tornado right in the middle of the outdoor wedding...well there's absolutely nothing you can do about that, however you can remain calm and escort guests to the nearest shelter.  Yep, happened twice this summer at two outdoor weddings. 
• Read, read, read as much as you can.  There are tons of books and magazines with lots of great advice.

So, if you're not discouraged yet, get a job, get the experience and come back to me.  I may just be interested in talking to you.